If We Survive This by Racquel Marie

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✦ BLURB ✦

Flora is not the girl who survives. A colorful creative who spends as much time fearing death as she does trying to hide that fear from her loved ones, she’s always considered herself weak. But half a year into the global outbreak of a rabies mutation that transforms people into violent, zombie-like “rabids,” she and her older brother Cain are still alive. With their mom dead, dad missing, and LA suburb left desolate, they form a new plan: The secluded Northern California cabin they vacationed in growing up is their best chance at a safe haven, and maybe even seeing their dad again.

The dangers of the world have changed, but so has Flora. Still, their journey up the state is complicated by encounters with familiar faces, new allies, hidden truths, and painful memories of the final time her family made this same trip the previous year. And for Flora, one thing inevitably remains: no matter how far you run, death is never far behind.

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✶ PRE-READING ✶

I was drawn to this one because of the promise of both emotional depth and post-apocalyptic tension. I’m always curious about books that handle mental health with nuance, especially in extreme settings. I hadn’t read anything by Racquel Marie before, but I was intrigued by the idea of a main character with OCD navigating a world that’s anything but orderly or safe.

✶ POST-READING ✶

As I thought... The writing was gripping, and Flora’s anxiety was so vividly portrayed it made my own chest tighten at times. The world-building felt realistic in that grounded, intimate way - the collapse happens in the background, but it’s the personal losses and choices that matter most.

It surprised me by... How much it made me feel. Flora’s voice is sharp, raw, and painfully relatable. Her fear isn’t sidelined, it’s central, and that makes her journey all the more powerful. I didn’t expect the ending to drop off so sharply, though. I can see the point of an unresolved ending, but it left me unsettled in a way that I’m still unpacking.

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✦ RECOMMENDATIONS ✦

Book Recommendation: A Touch of Deadly by Bridget Blankley – another intense story that puts mental health front and centre during a crisis.
TV or Movie Recommendation: The Rain (Netflix) – similarly features teens trying to survive a post-apocalyptic landscape, with emotional tension and sibling dynamics.

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• ✧ VIBE CHECK ✧

• A colour palette: charcoal grey, dusk blue, bruised plum

• A soundtrack: raw acoustic with low, thrumming beats and the occasional burst of frantic strings

• A season: late autumn—bare branches, brittle cold, and the scent of coming rain

• A mood: urgent, intimate, quietly harrowing

• A scent: cold air in your lungs and sweat-soaked cotton

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★ TAROT CARD PULLED ★

Nine of Swords.
Flora carries the weight of intrusive thoughts, fear, and guilt like a second skin, and the Nine of Swords encapsulates that perfectly. But it’s also a card of enduring - of making it through the worst nights, one breath at a time. The sword-hung darkness doesn’t take away her strength; it reveals it.